she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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