I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
