Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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