super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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