if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
