I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
