I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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