So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
