so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
