a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
