you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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