OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
