is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
