do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
