Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
