I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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