Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
