mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
