i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
