i just wanna soil my oats bro
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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