I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
