Yo dont text me then not text me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So much Jack, so little girl.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
