The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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