suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
