I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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