He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
