You really coming over, don't trick.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
