Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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