Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize