did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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