he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
