STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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