Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
one two three fourrrrnication!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
