Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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