Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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