Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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