I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
