Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
