Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
