I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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