I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
