I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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