Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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