you traded sex for a burrito?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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