My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
