if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
