Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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