Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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