dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
