It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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