I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
