you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they're like a gay fantastic four
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
