Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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